Thursday, November 3, 2011

A love note for dreads......and Happy Housewife Day! :) (who'd-a-thunk-it?!)

After a prolonged hiatus from this writing gig I am back with a vengeance. Many changes in our family this year but it seems we are finally back in our groove. Though never a moment of monotonous dreariness here! Five kids, 3 cats, 3 dogs and a husband makes sure of that! Biggest news this week? Our landlord fixed our bathroom door, which has been screwy since we moved in and refused to close properly. No more propping the magazine rack against the door and holloring "Give Mommy a MINUTE please!!!!!!!" while trying to use the toilet with chubby toddler fingers sneaking in around the crack. The first time I could CLOSE and LOCK (hear the angels singing HALLELUJAH????) the bathroom door to pee in peace was a wonderful moment and I thus dubbed it a Mommy Vacation. We Stay At Home Mums grab our moments when we can get them!
I began my dreadlock process in June. Directly after my wedding and a miscarriage. I began dreads simply because I LIKE dreads. I like how they look and they seem to vibe with my whole attire. (Long flowy skirts, a wide array of wife beater tanks) (ugh. I hate that term) What I DID NOT realize is having dreadlocks is an emulation of an entire LIFESTYLE, not a mere hairstyle!
Two things yu must know about me to understand this. 1)I, like so many of us, (all of us?) am healing. I have battle scars, wounds, heavy loads I sometimes carry. I have a past. I have labels I am working on shedding. My dread locks speak volumes in this effect. They are a very outer visual  bold proclamation t the world that I am FREE, forgiven, strong, independent. It is my personal sandwich board sign to the wrld that I refuse to accept the norm or conform to the world around me. I dont give a rip what the latest beauty product is or wether the industry touts that shiny smooth hair is BEAUTIFUL. I think dreadlocks are beautiful, not only because to me, its as natural as one gets, but because 9 times out of 10, the person who has dreadlocks has a story behind them. On a FaceBook page I am a member of (dreadlocksnattydreads) someone once asked what our personal stories were for getting dreadlocks. The responses were varied. Sme had them due to spiritual convictions, some felt more akin to nature and life with dreads, some had them as a therapuetic wa to deal with death of a loved one, a divorce, loss of a pregnancy, abuse of some form in their past. The reaccuring theme was that these dreads symbolized love, hope, healing, peace, etc.... Mine began as part of my journey through grief over my deceased fiance. His death brought manyy conflicting emotions to the surface, including a wrestling with my faith and my God. Which leads me to number 2) I tend t be a very type-A personality. Throw OCD into the mix there. I am a professional worrier. I plan things. I make lists. I research everything. And that type of living can lead to alot of stress. Its ok to be prepared but sometimes when we interrupt the natural flow, our own grwth is hindered. I worried alot about Ken dying due to his alcoholism. He did die. My worrying, nagging, praying, pleading, crying ....did NOT stop it. Suddenly, at age 31, I had to face facts that I am NOT God, that our best intentions can still fail, that people I love will die, that thinsg dont always work out as planned. Relinquishing control is a scary thing. As the Beatles put it "Let it be." A tough concept to grasp. Before Kens death, I tried desperatly to save him. In the end, it wasn't my place.
There again, in my beginning process of these dreads I tried to grasp control. I saw photos of folks with gorgeous "perfect" straight symmetrical dreads. I expected that. Then mine began to dread. And there were spots where loose hairs refused to dread and parts where my hair was a frizzy puffball and three defiant rebellious dreads in the back found partners and those three dreads turned into "congos" (as i learned they were called, when two or more seperate dreads lock together to form one fat dread) I had a few dreads with funky loops and bumps in them, one even had this kinky cool swirl at the end which albeit was pretty funky BUT not at all the even perfect rows I had expected. But in the talking to many fellow dreadhead I have learned everyne ges through this process in the beginning and that dread locks tend to be varying and unique.
Ah.
Lightbulb moment.
Coming in loud and clear, God.
dreadlocks are, as I mentioned, an outer representation of our jourenys. We all are different, quirky, unique. These dreads are mine and thus are a portrayal of ME. Sometimes I am simply strnger when I "congo" with another person, when I depend on a friend or lean on a family member. Jesus said "Where two or more are gathered, there I am." Sometimes, right smack dab in the midst of the doldrums, I burst into a silly song to ne of my kids or dance alone in my livingroom. Last week, whilst hiking in the woods with my headphones blasting, a catchy tune in my ears, I sddenlyy felt inspired to dance. And dance I did. Under a towering tree with the sun streaming down to kiss me through the branches. I waved my arms and spun and bopped and shook my hips and vibed out waves of love to the earth. Thats me. When work must get done, Im there to get it done. But living comes as priority and sometimes interrupts the work. When Christ cmes back I want to be teh one dancing beneath trees, not scrubbing dishes.Sometimes I  might get muddled  up and have to begin again. But with my head held high. I am those rebellious, fun, quirky, bumpy, swirly dreads. They are me. and I love them!
On a side note, November 11th is officially Housewife Day. La dee da! I celebrate by...doing housework. Pretty much the same as any other day. But if anyone wants to send gifts of chocolate or cash.........;) Back to the grindstone. Ta!